Relational Patterns

As relationships evolve, characteristic communication patterns develop. There relational patterns are the result of joint rules that have developed between the people involved.

Here are the 3 of the most common of these communication patterns :

1. Supportive and Defensive climates
   
   
   Climates and individual behaviors can be characterized along a continuum from highly supportive and defensive. Each steatment above is a comment on how supportive or defensive the speaker perceives another person-and the relationship overall--to be at a particular point in time. 
   
   There are communication behaviours that tend to create and maintain defensive climates within relationships:
   -Evaluating
   -controling
   -developing strategy
   -remaining neutral
   -conveying certainty
   
   In contrast, the following behaviors are seen as contributing to a spportive climate:
   -describing
   -maintaining a problem orientation
   -being spontaneous
   -empathizing
   -asserting equality
   -conveying provisionalism
   
   Example:
   Defensive climates: you're so lazy and you can't do it on time
   Supportive climates: I appreciate you so nice when I feel sad 
2. Dependency & Counter Dependencies
     
   Relationship between conditions, events, or tasks such that one cannot begin or be-completed until one or more other conditions, events, or tasks have occurred, begun, or completed.
   
   
   The Counter Dependent is the opposite of the Co-Dependent. The Counter-Dependent has experienced a repeated failure of the significant persons in his life being trustworthy. 


   Chronic and repeated violation of trust by a child sets in motion an inability to trust (without cause) the close and important persons in the Counter Dependents life i.e. girlfriend, wife, parent, etc. 


   
   
   As a child he may have experienced chronic hurt because the adults in his life failed to function responsibly. 


   if you are counter-dependent you tend to: 


   -believe that you don't need anything from anyone 


   -trust no one but yourself 


   -find it hard to feel close to anyone, even wife and children  
3. Progressive and Regressive Spirals 
   
   
   A third type of relational pattern is a spiral. "In a spiral, one partner's behavior intensifies that of the other"20. Spirals can be progressive, in which one partner's behavior leads to increasing levels of satisfaction for the other. Spirals can also be regressive, where one partner's communication leads to increasing dissatisfaction. Stopping regressive spirals from getting out of control depends on the open communication between the two individuals.
   
   
   regressive spiral: relational patterns that spiral downhill, mirror image of progressive
   Misunderstanding and discord building upon itself

   Has a downward limit unless modified

   
   

   progressive spiral: you punctuate but the patterns spiral up, more and more positive energy toward one another

   Builds on positive energy

   Has upward limits unless modified

   
   

   Relationships alternate between progressive and regressive-not a wild flux, but a gentle constant

   Both have boundaries that, unless modified, could create a dysfunctional relationship and/or the relationship will terminate

   
   

   "sorry" punctuation makes relationship better

   Punctuation problem: a relationship gets into a "do-loop." This is where relationship gets stuck in one place and doesn't move. Based on blaming the other rather than recognizing it is a "relational problem" both created.

Factors that influence patterns

• ·         Stage of Relationship and Context

Communication patterns in a relationship very greatly from one stage to another.Naturally,people meeting each other for the first time interact in a different manner than people who have lived together for several years.It’s also varies depending on the context in which conversation is taking place.People meeting in a grocery store are quite likely to act and react differently to one another than if they are talking in a bar or at a bussiness meeting.

• ·         Culture influence

Culture refers to the customs, language, arts, common dietary habits and attire of a particular region. It also includes the learned values, beliefs and behaviors common to a group of individuals. Culture and communication are inseparable. Individuals from different cultural backgrounds often carry an attitude that their own culture is superior to that of others. This attitude hampers interpersonal communication between two individuals or groups from different cultural backgrounds. Individuals who are ethnocentric in nature often are under the impression that anyone who does not belong to their group is either strange or inferior. This perception also prevents healthy social and political communication between two group.

• ·         Power

·         Individuals from different cultural backgrounds often carry an attitude that their own culture is superior to that of others. This attitude hampers interpersonal communication between two individuals or groups from different cultural backgrounds. Individuals who are ethnocentric in nature often are under the impression that anyone who does not belong to their group is either strange or inferior. This perception also prevents healthy social and political communication between two groups

• ·         Conflict

Communication researcher Alan Sillars suggests that when people are involved in conflict situations they develop their own personal theories to explain situations.These theories,in turn,have a great influence on how interactants deal with one another.

• ·         Technology

BBM(Blackberry Messanger) is becoming the most popular medium for interpersonal communication. When exchanging messages, if a person makes grammatical errors or spelling mistakes, it can create a wrong impression on the receiver. People share messages or communicate via electronic media without visual or oral information. Lacking face-to-face contact with its sensory input, individuals start imagining other people based on their electronic communication style and pattern. This can become a technological hindrance that can hamper effective interpersonal communication.

• ·         Noise

Noise interferes with or disrupts communication by causing a divergence between the receiver and the communicator. Some examples of physical noise include running motors, horns, screeching brakes and children crying. In a classroom setting, if children create noise or murmur among themselves, this becomes a hindrance to communication, preventing the teacher's message from being received the way she intended

Source:

Factors That Influence Interpersonal Communication | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/info_8214983_factors-influence-interpersonal-communication.html#ixzz2DDOknc8o